If you have bored kids at home, you might enjoy this story—and maybe even the suggestion that goes with it.
When I was a kid, every summer we made root beer.
My mother, who was somewhat endlessly curious, spotted a small dark bottle of Hires Root Beer Extract at the grocery store. She read the label, shrugged, and our summer tradition began.
I don’t remember all of the details, but let’s give it a go.
You take a stock pot and put about five gallons of water in it. Then you add an astonishing amount of sugar, a cake of yeast, and that small, potent bottle of extract.
Stir it all up and find some bottles. Here’s how we got ours.
My dad would consume about a case of Special Export beer every summer. Mom would take the empties back and exchange them for another case. Only this time, the bottles took a slight detour.
Dad got us a box of bottle caps and a little bottling gizmo that clipped the caps onto each full bottle.
Then Mom carefully laid the bottles in the bottom of our laundry tub, putting newspapers between each layer. One batch would about fill the tub. She’d cover it with a rug and leave it in the cool basement.
Now the agonizing waiting began.
Mom, the scientist, would explain, “The yeast will eat the sugar and release carbon dioxide. That carbon dioxide will eventually make the root beer fizzy.”
But you had to wait six days.
We never believed it. So on day three, we would sample a bottle. It was flat.
On day six, it was fizzy enough to drink.
By week two, it was explosive.
Any bottles that made it past week two were dangerous. Usually about three of these grenades exploded in the bottom of the wash tub, leaving a sticky mess.
The others had to be opened carefully over the sink.
If you weren’t careful, three-quarters of the root beer would erupt out of the bottle, leaving you with about three inches of fizzy root beer and a sticky mess in the sink—and possibly on the wall.
It was delightful.
To this very day, my favorite summer beverage is a root beer float. I get them at the drive-through, and they taste just like summer.
I’m sure the extract is still around. They’ve probably modified the instructions to include powdered yeast and plastic bottles with twist caps.
Here’s what I know.
It’s the middle of summer, and kids are bored, bored, bored.
Maybe this story will make you as curious as it made my mom. Maybe it’ll bring you and your family as much pleasure as it brought me.
Here’s to the endless summer!
